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starbylers · 15 hours ago

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How much of “El” was actually in Will’s van speech, why this scene does NOT point to him letting Mike go, and what we actually know about Will's arc/Byler because of it

I know everyone jokes about the Will crying in the van shot so we sometimes forget how serious of a moment that was but like…..he was devastated. It’s always bothered me when people act as though this scene was about El in any genuine way, and that the message to take away is that Will is accepting Mike and El love each other and starting to move on. Both of these things couldn’t be further from the truth, they’re just convenient interpretations to fit a certain narrative.

In reality, Will assumed what El feels because he loves Mike, and that’s how he feels. There was no conversation between him & El, nothing Will ever witnessed, for him to determine that Mike "makes her feel like she’s better for being different”, that that helps her "fight". It’s what El wanted to feel from Mike, but she clearly didn’t (“You think I’m a monster too”). We never see Mike uplift her for her differences throughout the entire time they're dating, and then in s4 El gets a plot about feeling like she doesn't fit in (“I am different”) and actively lies to Mike about it ??? So...when exactly does Mike make her feel like she's "not a mistake at all"? El doesn't even feel safe giving him the opportunity, in fact she actively refuses to repeatedly: lying in her letters, asking Angela to lie to Mike at the rink, in their fight when he tries to understand & she tells him he doesn't. (And then when he tries in the monologue to use the sentiment “I love you for exactly who you are” etc.…she loses.)

And aside from that, explaining the painting and its meaning was the most blatant lie we see Will tell, and that’s all him. El didn't say all these wonderful things she loves about Mike, didn't create a gift inspired by something personal to Mike (DnD) to emphasise that message. Those were Will’s thoughts and feelings, unquestionably. There is nothing to suggest that El perceives Mike in that way ("the heart", "guiding the party, inspiring us", "without [you] we'd all fall apart"), that she understands Mike and knows exactly what to say to make him feel important, special and needed, that she loves him the way Will loves him (which just coincidentally happens to encompass exactly what Mike needs to hear to soothe his insecurities (“I’m just some random nerd” etc.)). And frankly even if we pretend El thinks the exact same things, Will was the one who did the work to make Mike happy. The idea that El should be able to coast on the efforts of someone else because "well she obviously feels the same way" (where ???) is kind of disturbing. Mike deserves better, and it makes no sense that the writers would narratively reward a love interest who put no effort into showing how much Mike is valued vs one who went above and beyond to make him feel loved.

That speech only applied to El insofar as Will sprinkles in "these past months she's been lost without you", "she's so different from other people", "we'd all fall apart, even El, especially El" and "if she was mean to you/seemed like she was pushing you away". Not because El said any of this, but because it's plausible for Will to come to these conclusions on his own and think he's correct (and even be partially correct). He knows El was doing awful in Lenora because she is different, he knows she's part of the group and has experienced Mike's leadership, he knows she fought with Mike and then left him. All of these things also affect him - he missed Mike's friendship while they were separated, he's different because of his sexuality, he's part of the group too, he "sabotaged" the day in Mike's eyes after not reaching out much and we know he's scared of losing Mike due to his feelings.

But the rest? "Of course she needs you Mike, she'll always need you", "You make her feel like she's not a mistake, like she's better for being different and that gives her the courage to fight", "if she [...] was pushing you away, it's just because she's scared of losing you" (I do think that one's partially true but Will wouldn't know beyond a guess), “if she was gonna lose you I think she’d want to get it over with quick", "El needs you and she always will” (and of course "El commissioned it" and the compliments he gives after)...who is Will to make those claims? He doesn't know how El feels, he didn't even know El was lying to Mike, she clearly doesn't confide in Will about her relationship. No, these things are all Will guessing/outright lying and letting his own feelings slip through. And just in general outside of Will, El hasn’t done/said anything elsewhere in the show to confirm that she feels any of this (in fact it was de-confirmed, in the case of the “better for being different” stuff).

Essentially, it’s all just Will's assumptions about El, some of which are based in reality and some of which are Will projecting. But most importantly, the reassurance and comfort he gives (the painting stuff) in response to Mike talking disparagingly about himself are Will and no-one else, and part of the most blatant lie he tells (“she told me what to draw [...] your coat of arms, it's a heart [...] without heart we'd fall apart”) is specifically what is called back to to push Mike into confessing!

Now, the idea of Will "accepting the reality" of Mike loving El is so ridiculously irrelevant. Will was heartbroken after he did what he did, this boy was literally sobbing out the window, but the whole reason he does is because he fully 100% believes Mike loves El. He knows, people! He spends the entire season giving Mike advice and pushing him towards her. Why would Will need to "accept" something he's been actively supporting before and during this scene? In his mind it's fully unrequited and he's operating within that reality in the most selfless, helpful, unobstructive way! He's not in denial, he has no hope.

What they really mean is he needs to move on and that this scene is somehow an indication that he is, but again, no: "[I] need you, and [I] always will" is Will's final projection before he cries his eyes out, and then later on we see him miserably staring at them again. The fact is, Will has accepted his "reality", that just didn't lead to him getting over Mike. No, it led to him sacrificing something he poured his heart into to save Mike’s relationship because he thinks that what will make Mike happy is to be with El, so he's making that happen. He is a bigger M!leven shipper than anyone. He still loves Mike, shows no signs of letting go, but he's just that selfless. And it's perfect, because no amount of knowing Mike loves El seems to change how much Will loves Mike. Incredibly inconvenient for a "plot" that relies on the gay character’s silly feelings magically disappearing out of reverence for a het couple and their deep soulmate love……

But this is why some people try to invent an imaginary arc where Will was somehow trying to get in the way of M!leven/had hope Mike could feel the same way, because otherwise you just get: Will likes Mike, knows it's hopeless, and then it randomly fizzles out lmao. Everyone knows that's not an arc; there's no change, no development, nothing learned. Plus, if Will is already in full acceptance of M!leven endgame…what’s next seaon's alleged rejection going to do/change? Nothing, Will’s feelings aren’t dependent on Mike reciprocating as has been shown, so the only purpose would be rubbing salt in the wound. And again, you end up with not an arc but a flat, depressing line. Will likes Mike, knows it's hopeless, has it painfully reaffirmed that yes it is hopeless, and then fizzle. If you know stories you know this makes zero sense, and therefore is not happening 👍

#byler #this is a self indulgent analysis/rant for myself & anyone who’s tired of the continued suggestion #that the only gay main character’s arc in relation to romance is to be happy for a straight couple and get over himself #I know the topic has been talked to death and we know it's not true. but I wanted to make it crystal clear with specific details #that the van scene is Not a part of that heteronormative fantasy #since I've never really talked about it in depth on my blog

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katerinaaqu · 3 days ago

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Hi! Love your takes and all! What do you think of people talking about Penelope being all buff and strong physically as she was "Spartan?" or that she find Odysseus more attractive with blood plaster on his body as she is "Spartan" or such?. Is it true in the Epics? I read something about a Lykurgus or something..I just want to have a nuanced answer to that, also sorry for the silly question.

You are very kind Anon and I am glad you find them useful

Okay for starters I think this whole thing is a massive stereotype in regards to Sparta that "they are all sexually aroused by blood and violence". I mean yes Sparta as we know had an extreme military outline but it is not like they all just killed around to have fun like a twisted version of Asterix village or something. They valued war and the strength in war of course and they took pride to their warfare and all but yeah I think the whole thing of "oh gosh! Blood! Foreplay for Spartans" is just a joke that goes too far sometimes (although we DO have some exaggerated sources about the Spartans but, surprise surprise, they come from their main rival, Athens so yeah one needs to consider that too. So yeah although the Spartans were strictly military I do not think it is actually realistic to say that they all went like:

lol XD

Two this "Sparta" that they mostly mention is at least 100 years if not more away than the "Sparta" mentioned in the epic cycle. You see the Epic Cycle might have been synthesized at the 8th century BC but the events taking place in it, reflect on the Bronze Age or the Mycenean kingdoms which existed before. These "Spartans" everyone speaks about is usually referring to the Doriean Spartans. The Dorieans were a Greek set of tribes with their own dialect that came down from the north at the year around 1100 BC, around 100 years after the estimated date of the events of the Trojan war and they got to remain to the areas such as Macedonia or Lacedaimona aka Sparta thus we have Macedonians and Spartans speak Doric Greek dialect while Atheneans speak Attic Greek dialect and the Asia Minor greek cities speak Ionian etc Either way as I said the events of the Trojan war happened around 100 years before this Doric Tribe descend much less till the strictly military spartan system to be fully crystallized. So we need to think of that. And even then it is not like the Spartan women were some sort of body-builders who didn't have any sort of binary roles to their society or being active warriors in armies etc (don't mistake them for Amazons guys! Hahahaha!). They did actively excersize more than most Greek cities at that time and they did take part in athletic events more than let's say Athens (Athenean women by n large seemed to participate in sports such as running and those were exclusively for Hera's celebrations) so we can imagine they would be more athletic than the average Greek lady but that doesn't mean they were soldier-trained or anything. The military training was for boys at the city of Sparta. And women still had their own binary roles in their respected society, they just had some more freedom as compared to their Athenean counterparts.

So even if Myceneans DID have a more military form of society or at least based on the findings they did focus on warfare to their art and such and the building of their walls and all they still wouldn't be the same as the doric Sparta that were exclusively military. Could perhaps mycenean Sparta have the basis for the future doric Sparta? Perhaps but I doubt we have sufficient evidence to say they are identical.

Three. I believe that people who wanna desperately depict Penelope as some buff lady, misses the concept of Penelope's strength in the Odyssey. Penelope was not strong because she could fight with the sword. She was strong because she was mentally steadfast, clever and resourceful and enduring and she managed to hold the kingdom of Ithaca steadfast by herself for 20 years. It wasn't about her being buff lady. Homer does seem to imply she was tall and stoutly buillt; see my other post where I mention her physical description in Homer:

but not buff as "I'm gonna kick your ass" buff and all. Homer doesn't mention that any of the Spartan princesses have some specific training (Helen Clytemnestra or Penelope) but later literature implies that they have basic knowledge on weaponry (for example in later 5th century dramas and above Clytemnestra not only is seen wielding a weapon but knowing some basics as to how it was made) but it needs to be said that the posthomeric sources were also influenced by their contemporary Sparta aka the doric military Sparta. Homer doesn't imply that this strict military doric way of life was part of his lore but he does imply that Sparta relies more to its military (as compared to Ithaca or Pylos for example) so maybe he attempts to create the illusion of historical continuation but either way no this whole "300s-like" Sparta was not crystalized yet to the times that Homer synthesized his poems much less to the time of Bronze Age.

And there is no hint that Penelope goes "WOW BLOOD!" that seems to me one of the overused jokes on the internet, again emanating by the whole series of Sparta stereotypes used for comedy. It was in fact Euryclea the one to almost welp in happiness seeing Odysseus covered in blood and that was because Odysseus had killed the men she hated. Penelope doesn't show such a thing. Odysseus also washes himself up to be presentable to her. And even in posthomeric sources Penelope was not linked to physical strength but rather with the strength of her mind and the purity of her intentions (well...except maybe from Parthenius narrative if I recall correctly. There Penelope is pictured as scheming in jealousy against one of the sons Odysseus ellegedly produced and manipulated her husband to kill his illegitimate son)

As for the last part I am not sure what you are referring to? Are you referring to Lycurgus that is mentioned in some later sources as king? I did find for example the reference of Plutarch (who lives much much later) that he implies that Lycurgus lives at the same time as Homer or possibly had met him personally but is that what you are referring to? Either way I assume you refer to the historical person rather than some mythical figure because in homeric realm we do have rulers such as Tyndareus (the king of Sparta father to Helen and Clytemnestra) and Icarius (father to Penelope). It seems that Homer with the mention of the two rulers, even if not directly mentioning it, seems to be winking at the later but still ancient custom of doric Sparta to have two kings but I am not sure if that truly was his objective (and therefore creating an anachronism most likely)

I hope that answers your questions a bit

#katerinaaqu answers #the iliad #the odyssey #homeric poems #penelope #odypen #penelope of ithaca #penelope of sparta #sparta #doric greeks

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just-a-ghost00 · 5 hours ago

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Who is your future spouse?

I'll be trying to get significant details about your spouse using 3 different decks. I'm not asking any specific question about looks or personality but rather just letting spirit guide us towards any detail they deem worthy of our attention. As this is a general reading, you may not resonate with every single detail but the general picture or overall vibe may speak to you to some level. For once, I decided to do 4 groups instead of 3.

Group 1

"I see grace and possibility in all of life's challenges." "There's no such thing as mistakes. Everything happens in divine order. I am being guided to learn and grow." "I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world."

White Numen tarot : Queen of cups, 5 of swords, The Fool, knight of pentacles, 6 of cups

I don't care oracle : Take care of yourself, Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Got a drink? Cheers! , Box with the pillow

Starting with the image you picked, I'm getting a strong message of using music and art in general as a form of escapism but also a mean of harmless self expression. Your FS may be struggling with a sense of loneliness that they are fighting off through a strong interest in any form of artistic expression. The bunny makes me think of innocence and creativity. The fact that it's a plushy makes me think of childhood and frailty. This passion that they have is something that stems from childhood and that has allowed them to hold on through hard times. I can't help but to be reminded of Stray Kids Lee Know when I look at this image. So maybe your FS has a similar personality or background to Lee Know's. Your FS could be a Kpop enthusiast. They could be an artist or enjoy doing art as their hobby. They are a rather sensitive and soft individual. They have a very comforting presence. There's a sadness to them that feels a little bittersweet.

They've been through a lot, not only romantic wise but also just on a personal level. Despite everything they've been through, they still have a lot of faith in the Universe and in mankind. With time, they've chosen to see their struggles as opportunities for growth and to cherish every experience that they get to live, even though some of them are uncomfortable because they're aware that in everything lies a blessing in disguise. They are very spiritual and they have a strong mindset gained through years of pain and struggle. They're an old soul and chances are that they have a lot of interesting stories to tell about their past.

Speaking of the past, you may share several past lives with this person. If you don't believe in this concept, you just may feel like you've known this person before when you've just barely met because they are so genuine and empathetic that it feels like they know you at your very core. For some of you, they could be a childhood friend. This person could also work with children or just be very popular with babies and kids. Another thing I am picking up on is that though this person is very mature and has gone through a lot, they look very innocent and youthful. Many people underestimate this person's age because of how childlike they may appear physically. Like, their skin is very soft and supple, they have no grey hair nor do they have wrinkles, they may be quite petite compared to other people of their age.

They've struggled with their mental health quite a lot. They're constantly thinking and bickering with their own self. They may be neurodivergent or struggle with a form of mental disorder. Another thing is that they have a very striking effect on people because they're hard to grasp. Their personality and the way they show up is so unique that they can't be categorized, "put into a box". This person just takes pride in not fitting, not conforming to any standard or norm. They don't like to be trapped in outdated perceptions of life and society. They are very protective of their freedom of expression. So chances are they have a very particular sense of style, a very specific way of expressing themselves in public, a particular posture that makes them stand out from other people. Like for example, they're the only person in their family that doesn't conform to gender norms. Actually I feel like the notion of gender isn't relevent to this person. However, they appear as quite feminine in their energy.

One thing that is very striking about them is how detached about material life they are. They do not care about possessions, wealth. This person is very generous and humble. They could give away their own clothes on a whim just to help someone else, buy a random person a meal just for the sake of making a good deed. They do random acts of kindness, not just with people they know but with anyone they come across. They give to charities, they leave food on the street for the homeless or for stray animals,they share important information on their socials in case it may be useful to someone. They're just really selfless. The reason behind that is because this person comes from a rather "poor" background. They know what it's like to be lacking something and they believe that any good deed done will come back to them. They have this mentality of not doing to others what they wouldn't appreciate themselves. So they're definitely not the kind to look down on other people or to hate on others.

This generosity can also be shown in their emotions and how they express themselves. They do not shy away from telling people they love them. They are very demonstrative and openly communicate their feelings, even though it makes them vulnerable. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They're incapable of lying. In connections, this person pours their heart out and they give their all. They're incredibly loving, kind, compassionate and patient. They show a lot of empathy and understanding towards others but they tend to be extremely harsh on themselves.

They struggle with a lot of anger issues as well as overthinking. They tend to burn themselves out thinking and worrying about others, helping other people to the detriment of their own health. They're in desperate need of love and rest and they have a hard time slowing down to focus on themselves. This person is not used to receiving and giving themselves the love that they willingly and selflessly give to others.

They're a cat lover. They may or may not own a pet cat. They have a cat like personality. They're more of an introvert but they tend to put on an extrovert façade to please others, especially their family and friends.

This person can be quite easily sociable with people however there aren't many people that they feel close to. In social settings, they tend to stay aside and only interact with the crowd here and there, out of politeness. They may struggle with the feeling of not belonging. They may feel like they do not fit in because of their unique sense of self and their strong morals. Again, I get strong neurodivergent vibes from this person but I also get a theme of cultural differences. This person may have grown in an environment where only a specific demographic was represented and they were the only source of diversity. Now that could mean all kinds of things but to give you an example maybe they grew up in a city where most people had fair skin and they were the only child with a different skin color. Or like maybe when they were a kid they were the only boy/girl when all the other kids were of the opposite biological sex.

Speaking of cultural differences, at the beginning of your reading, I had the impression that they lived in a different country than yours and that feeling is further confirmed with the spread. They could possibly have a similar background to yours but the only difference is that they grew up in a different setting. Like for instance, imagine two people that are both of European descent but one of them grew up in Spain while the other spent on the other side of the globe for some reason. Another thing I was picking up on was two people being born from two different ethnicities. So I feel like you and your future spouse will have a lot in common in the sense that you may have been through similar hardships in your life though you come from completely different areas of the globe. You could bond over things like : being the "black sheep" of the family, being the "generational curse breaker", being the "weird child" or the "rebellious child", being bullied in school because of your looks/sexual preferences/culture/religion or any form of difference that made you stand out, feeling like you don't belong, wanting to be someone else or somewhere else, feeling like you're not from this planet, having a weird interest in astrology and space facts, believing in ghosts and/or UFOs.

Group 2

"I communicate with ease and grace. People are willing to embrace what I have to say." "I welcome healthy, loving relationships." "I celebrate my progress. Awareness, not perfection, is the goal."

White Numen tarot : The Magician, 8 of wands, Queen of cups, King of wands, Ace of cups

I don't care oracle : Sorry not sorry, Spread the love, Yes! , Smile smile more even more!, You are not your emotions

This person is very chatty and an excellent communicator. They have a very eloquent speech and a beautiful voice that may be envied by many. They enjoy singing and whistling. They can easily talk anyone through anything. They have a bit of a snake charmer vibe. They're a smooth talker and many times got out of trouble because of that. They have a fascination for birds and/or their nickname revolves around a bird. I'm thinking of Woody Woodpecker, Tweety, Daffy and Donald Duck, Zazu, Iago. Like either that or they are named after a bird or compared to a specific bird. Specifically, there are peacock feathers depicted on the relationships card from the Spirit Junkie oracle. So peacocks could be relevant to this connection somehow. Either they get compared to a peacock because they tend to show off around potential partners or because they have a really flamboyant nature and attidude. They also could be compared to parots or phoenix.

This person exudes a lot of masculine energy. They may be depicted by other people as a playboy/playgirl, as a macho if they're perceived as a man or if they're perceived as a woman their feminism may not be well perceived by their peers. I feel like they get a lot of backlash from others and get wrongly accused of being so many things because of how unapologetically themselves they are. This person has a lot of self confidence and they have strong values. They draw a lot of attention but also a lot of envy and jealousy. They may be in the public eye.

They are extremely harsh with themselves and have perfectionist tendencies. They're a workaholic. They're extremely prideful and take a lot of pride in their accomplishments, especially on a professional level. They are the type to never regret a choice they make, even though people do not share their opinion on the matter because once they've set their mind on something it is very hard for them to change their perspective. They are incredibly stubborn but also incredibly resilient.

They are very popular and sociable, however they just don't let anybody in their close circle. This person has strong boundaries and they do not hold their tongue. They've put themselves in trouble more times than they can count because of their blunt approach. People around them may say that they are haughty or that they have no respect for their elders, that they do not take criticism well or that they are full of themselves. But the truth is this person is just very protective of their own space and they were raised in a background that taught them to always speak their mind when something doesn't feel right. They cannot stand injustice and you can be sure that this person will always stand up for what is right, no matter their differences with the people involved.

They have climbed the ladders of society through their hard work. They "came from nothing" and "became somebody" because of how dedicated they were to their craft. This earned them a lot of respect but also a lot of advantages and money. This person is now wealthy and leaving very comfortably but this wasn't the case when they were a child. They became so succesful that they may now be their own boss. They earned enough money to be able to open their own business or work independantly. If this person is an artist for instance, they fund their own work with their own money. They may own their own label or they're just a solo artist because they've gained enough of an audience and enough resources to be able to do so. This is just one example among many. They could be working freelance on different projects or own a brand of some sort. It could be anything really. If not that, then they have a higher status within their work environment compared to when they started.

For most of you, I feel like your FS is older than you. There's a stark contrast between you not only because of your age but also because of your maturity and life experience. I feel like you would be very intimidated by this person at first but also, because of everything I mentioned before, you may start off with a bad impression of them because of how other people depict them or gossip you may have heard. You could start off as rivals or "ennemies" so to speak. Also, I get the feeling that when you first meet them, you will think that they are disinterested in you or that they don't like you.

Despite their intimidating façade, this person is actually incredibly kind and loving. They are very sweet and sensitive, but they don't show that aspect of themselves to a lot of people. They have huge trust issues and they struggle with intimacy. They are hyper independant and they tend to repress their emotions, especially their sadness, through humor. They're the type of person that will act like a clown and make jokes to distract themselves and others from the fact that they are not okay. If you talk with this person and start to get deep by bringing up intimate subjects, they are likely to swiftly change the subject or disguise the truth by joking around. They may exagerate certain traits to make themselves appear stronger or cooler and take away the vulnerable aspects of the story. Let's say this person got into a fight and was hurt in the process. Maybe the true reason why they got into this fight was because they were drunk after breaking up with their past lover and a person's attitude didn't sit right with them in that specific setting. When they tell you the story, they may omit the fact they were at their lowest and emphasize how brave they were to stand up and interfere because a person twice their size was bothering another customer. That kind of thing.

This person has a problem with expressing their feminine side and showing emotion. They do not talk about themselves much or if they do, they always make sure it isn't too personal. They tend to mask a lot of their pain, a lot of their fears. They hide behind a mask to cover up for the fact that they are in truth really sensitive and insecure about themselves. I get the message that this person struggles with their feminine side because of a masculine figure in their life. Growing up, they were taught that they shouldn't cry or let people see their "weakness". They were taught that showing affection wasn't safe. They were criticized for their soft nature and had to become tougher with time to be able to make it through. Again, I get a neurodivergent vibe from this person, which is similar to group 1. Maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

They are very passionate and invested in whatever is going on around them. I feel like they are very active political wise and that ties down to their issues with injustice. This person either does a lot of community work or advocates for a lot of causes. They may use their influence and means of communication to raise awareness around certain subjects. I'm specifically picking up on mental health issues and struggles surrounding one's body image, speaking up against racism, bullying, sexual harassment at work. They have a lot of love to give and a sensitive side to them that they don't get to express very often but when they are in such setting that is when they can truly be themselves and wear their heart on their sleeve. You may see this person's gaze light up when they talk about subjects that interest them, things that are dear to their heart. I see this person doing a lot of random acts of kindness but on the lowkey. Things that would go unnoticed or that wouldn't seem that grand but that actually matters. Like putting flowers on someone's grave even though they didn't know them as a proof that someone cares about their passing. Leaving anonymous positive notes in books that they borrow from the library so that the next person is comforted and knows that they matter. Silently watching over children on the streets to ensure that they are safe and no one bothers them. Taking away an object that may be a source of danger for others. Giving away personal belongings by living them in random spots for other people to find them. Pretending like they're clumsy to get two people that like each other to be physically closer in the hopes that it will get things started.

I feel like this person's main love language is acts of services but sometimes they may also express their love in funny/quirky ways or unusual ways. Here are some specific things I am picking up on : making a list of all the things you like so that they know what to do when you feel down or how to surprise you on a specific event, using your go-to words or catch phrases on you to make you smile or laugh, taking interest in the things you like and trying them out to the point of being very specific about it and knowing every detail of it so you don't feel like you're alone and they can better understand you even if it makes them uncomfortable, including you in the things they do by leaving very specific tasks up to you even though they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own because they know it makes you happy, anticipating your needs in ways you wouldn't expect by keeping certain tools or products in close vicinity just in case, mimicking your stance/ your walking pace or any trait that you may be feeling insecure about so that you feel less insecure about it, making sure that you are not being left out during any social interaction and bringing the focus back to you in case you were interupted, countering your every self criticism with a reason why that exact thing is actually a good thing, expressing their opinion of you and how they feel for you in indirect ways by talking about things you remind them of (characters in movies, songs, things that are meaningful to them like a loved one for instance).

Looking at the picture you picked, I get the message that this person values beauty and the aesthetic of things and people. They give a lot of importance to appearances. They could be into home decor and interior design. They could also be into fashion. They may collect a lot of objects because of their aspect. Especially statues, paintings, traditional objects from different countries, floral ornaments. They like scented candles and incense. There is a specific flower that this person likes or they could have been named after a flower. Or they could be born on Flower Day (May 20), Rose Day (February 7), Valentine's Day (February 14), Yellow rose day (May 14 in Korea). Or overall as most flowers bloom during Spring, this season may be their favorite or may have some significance to your connection. I'm not sure what the flower on the picture is, but its shape and color reminded me of blue Hydrangeas.

Group 3

"I release my need to be right. I am defenseless and at peace." "When I lead from a place of love people respect me." " I bring peace wherever I go." White Numen Tarot : Magician, queen of wands, Judgement, Sun, 3 of swords

I don't care oracle : Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Stop doing so much, Infinity x Infinity , I'm not okay, I am always a child

This person loves animals. They are very popular with animals. They may want to own a pet but they may be allergic to pet fur or they just don't have the opportunity to have one because of their lifestyle. They can both embody a cat like and a puppy like energy. They are very balanced and can both embody feminine and masculine energy very well because they've done a lot of shadow work.

They grew up in an abusive household and/or have dealt with a lot of abuse in their life. This lead them to becoming "mature" too soon for their age. They had to parent themselves and now as an adult they may be described as immature by others because they didn't have the opportunity to do what other children usually do growing up. They had to deal with many responsibilities very early on in their life, either because their parents didn't show up the way they should have or because they left home pretty early on for various reasons. Because of that, they have a hard time letting go of the need to control and asking for help.

One of the ways this person copes with whatever issues they have is by being active. They have a lot of various interests and they look like they never rest. This person's schedule is packed and timed perfectly. They always got something to do, someone to talk to, something to work on. They may struggle with insomnia. One of the reasons why they keep themselves so busy is to cover up for the fact that they feel lonely and scared on their own.

This person looks for meaningful and deep connections. When they feel comfortable with people, they can rant for days about the things that they like and be very quirky but if they do not have a good impression of you they'll remain as cold as an iceberg and you'll never get to see their depth. One of the ways you will be able to tell that your FS likes you is that they will act differently depending on whether they're with you or someone else. They'll do things with you that they wouldn't do with others. Show you sides of themselves that no one has seen. This person including you in their bubble will be a huge sign of their affection and trust. Especially, you meeting their family will be a huge thing because I feel like no one has gotten that opportunity before.

They are very confident in themselves, especially when it comes to their work and studies. They can ace anything you leave up to them as long as they know they've got your trust and things are explicit. However, if they feel like you're being shady or that you doubt them, this person's productivity will be affected dramatically. They struggle with impostor syndrom. They're also very quick to judge characters and they tend to have a strong intuition. So whenever this person tells you that they have a bad feeling about something, they are likely to be right.

They do not realize it bu they hold more power than they think and they are more popular than what they expect. This person is so humble that it would never cross their mind to put themselves forward and talk about their accomplishments. This is because of their upbringing. This person was lead to believe that they were not important and that no matter their achievements or efforts, they would never be enough to be taken seriously. Honestly this person has been through so much in their life that it's a miracle they still find the drive to carry on with a smile on their face. They are incredibly strong and admirable but they would never think that of themselves. They are their own worst enemy and critic. They don't like to be the center of attention but no matter what they do they just cannot escape it.

I feel like right away in your connection, you will intuitively feel very drawn to this person and very early on realize that they are your FS. Their will be something about their eyes that will immediately spark your interest. And everytime you will look into this person's eyes, you will not be able to hold their gaze because of the intensity of what you feel when looking at them. This may be something that they tease you about later on in your connection. I also pick up on a setting or an action that is unusual when you meet them. There will be something that will set you off about this person or maybe you will do something that they are not used to. And that will be the spark that ignites the whole thing. The reason I am saying that is because on the "I am always a child" card, the character depicted is walking barefoot on the street and one of their foot is in the mud. They are very neetly dressed and yet, without a care in the world, they are risking getting all dirty and being laughed at. It looks a bit out of place or out of the ordinary. Here are some things I am picking up on that maybe will speak to you : being the only person that didn't follow the dresscode at a party, walking up the stairs with a bunch of heavy grocery bags when you could have used the elevator, being the only person in the gym that sings to their workout playlist and gets hyped up while everyone else is just quietly sweating it out, being the only person that dares to talk back to the other or makes a comment about a specific touchy subject, being the only person to actually be educated about a specific topic that they're interested into while the others just have a surface level understanding of it, not showing them any sign of interest when other people are desperately trying to get their attention.

Looking at the picture you chose, this person could live by an important body of water. This could also be a sign that they are a very emotional individual. They may be into water sports like surfing, swimming, scuba diving. They could enjoy fishing. They may eat a lot of sea food. When travelling, they may prefer warm places such as islands over the country side or places like mountains. They may prefer Summer over other seasons.

Group 4

"My high vibe thoughts create health in my body, peace in my mind and love in my heart." "Let me be still today and listen to the truth in silence." "The more I honor my inner light the more I brighten the world. I choose to shine."

White Numen tarot : King of wands, 9 of wands, 7 of wands, knight of pentacles, 5 of pentacles

Sorry not sorry, Turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before you speak, I've got super powers, Tomorrow is another day, Don't be fooled by my appearance my soul is resplendent

Based on your picture, the first thing I pick up on is that you may firstly interact with this person at a distance, either being penpals or through social media/dating apps. The picture also gives me a feeling of nostalgia. This may be someone that you reconnect with after a long time being a part. Daisies is the birth flower of people born in April. So it could be your or their birth month, or you could meet during this month. This person could be a childhood friend or your relationship could start of as friends and evolve into something more over time. I also can't help but to think of Disney's Daisy and Princess Daisy from the Mario lore. So your person gives off a very innocent vibe upon first glance but they turn out to be stronger and smarter than they appear. Though people may think of them as superficial, frail or shallow they are actually have a lot more depth and are very sensitive. This person may tend to be underestimated or overlooked, people may wrongly assume their character because of the way they look. Which feels a bit similar to group 2's person's energy so maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

Your FS is a very spiritual person and they developped that spirituality through hardships and adversity. They possibly dealt with bullying as a child. This person was lead to believe that they didn't deserve affection, care, help. They spent most of their life being on their own and having to protect themselves because the adults around them where not creating a safe space for them. They have huge trust issues and are hyper independent. They do not know how to ask for help and do everything by themselves. They're the type of person that wants to be recognized solely for their skills and hard work. If someone were to help them or gift them something, they would think that they are not worthy of it because they haven't worked for it or earned it. Their notion of value is distorted because of the way they were raised as a child.

They are originally a very bright and cheerful person but life turned them into a bitter and cold person. Many times in their life, they were shown aspects of humanity that made them lose faith and hope. They were constantly lied to, disregarded, manipulated. People abused their kindness and generosity, treated them badly under the disguise of friendship or love. This person grew to believe that love wasn't meant for them. So when you meet them, they'll likely avoid you and run away from you at first. They'll have a hard time believing that your feelings for them are genuine and they may keep you at arms length for quite a while.

They fear intimacy. This will show in their distate for physical touch and public displays of affection. In their constant need for space and independance, for control within the relationship. Ironically, though they need a lot of space and free range of action, they will show a lot of possessiveness and jealousy especially if you are separated. This connection really gives me ennemies to lovers vibe. They will hate to love you and love to hate you. The beginning stages of your relationship may be quite rocky because of this person's fears and issues. However, because they will be very attached to you and protective over you they will understand the need for them to heal those aspects of their personality for you connection to be healthy and lasting. This is also because they have a strong sense of responsibility and want to be perceived in a good light by their loved ones.

This person is very charismatic and sensual. Chances are that a lot of eyes will be on them and a lot of people will want to pursue them, even while you are dating. They face a lot of envy and jealousy generally speaking but they will face even more adversity once they are with you. Which could interfere in your connection. There will be a lot of gossip about you, especially career wise. People in their work sphere specifically will not understand why your dynamic is working when you seem so different from one another. This will stem mostly from a lack mindset. Even their family could get involved in the drama. Since this person is very popular and likely succesful in their work, people may say things like you could be a threat to their reputation or question your motives for dating this person.

Even though their attraction for you will be very clear and obvious, this person will do everything in their power to ignore it and resist the pull to the point where it may look completely crazy to you and ridiculous. You may think "why is such a mature person acting in such a childish way, this is so unlike them". They'll make choices and actions that you will not understand and could attempt to sabotage the connection. But the more they will try to run away from you the closer they're gonna get because the Universe will not be having any of their BS and you won't either. Every time they will try to ignore or avoid you, they will be reminded of you or forced to face you in some type of way. This person could be trying to flirt with other people to forget about you, they may even straight up date another person thinking that you would disappear from their life. But the people they will interact with will be very similar to you or coincidentally they will be in your circle. If this person is working in a similar occupation, circumstances will have them working with you. They could choose to move out in a new location thinking they would avoid you but it turns out that you frequently go to that place because a family member lives nearby or your doctor's office is located in the same street. If you are a parent, maybe their kid goes to the same school as yours. And so on and so forth. Every time they turn on the radio, they'll hear songs that remind them of you. They'll see or hear your name quite often or will be confronted with something you like every day.

Specifically, I pick up that this person could be a coffee addict but maybe the way they like their coffee is very different to yours and this may be something you passionately debated on. They also have a thing for plants and flowers. They wear glasses or they have a bad eyesight. You could have "argued" about being too blunt and not knowing how to read the room. I don't know why I keep writing in past tense. Maybe for some of you that's a confirmation you already know this person. If that isn't your case, maybe this will be something that happens later on in your connection. I really get the feeling that something about this person will just get on your nerves when you first meet. Like the way they talk or how they dress. Maybe the setting in which you meet will give you a wrong impression of this person. Especially if a lot of people are badmouthing them and spreading false rumors about them.

This person is a loner. They spend most of their time alone, either at work or in their personal life. They are very guarded and introverted. They barely leave their home unless it's very important. They may have a fear of crowds and enclosed spaces. However, when they are able to trust someone they are very kind and giving, a total opposite of what people may depict them as. They have a very healing presence that stems from all the hardships they faced over time. This person uses their own experience to help people heal and expand. They could be a therapist, a reiki practitioner, someone that uses alternative medicine like herbology, crystal healing and such.

They have a lot on their plate. They struggle with mental health issues and it isn't something they openly talk about with anyone. However, if this person sees someone going through hardships, they will be the first one to reach out and provide help and support. This person believes in the law of attraction and also in fate. They know when to pay attention to the details which could also explain why they are so succesful in life but people may not see that side of them and just belive that your FS has it easy because of their wealth, their background, their looks. When in reality, this person is the most hardworking individual you'll ever know. And when you get to see that side of them, you will really admire and respect them.

#just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #tarot reading #spiritual pac #love pac #oracle cards #future spouse series #future spouse reading

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aishangotome · 8 hours ago

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Azel Radwan: Both Endings Epilogue

Romantic Ending Letter | Dramatic Ending Epilogue

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

"Love" is a curse.

It's the worst curse, one that should never be inflicted.

*flashback*

Emma: It's wrong to call something that hurts Prince Azel "love."

Emma: That's just violence disguised as love.

*flashback over*

(Those words Emma said one day hit the nail on the head about the true nature of love.)

(For me, love might be violence.)

*flashback*

Mother: Living God, please grant us a divine message. Show us the reality that has been promised to us.

Azel: I... don't know—

The Apostle: Everyone here is eagerly awaiting the Living God's divination.

The Apostle: God who loves his people, please have mercy on us.

Azel: ...I...

Mother: Come now, Living God.

The Apostle: Show us our path.

Azel: ...I understand.

Enis: Azel, we came to play!

Azel: Kamal-oniichan, Enis-oniichan...!

Enis: Whoa, what's with suddenly clinging to us like that? You're unusually affectionate today.

Azel: Am I... really a god?

Kamal: Ah, I guess the apostle said something to you again? That— geezer. Someday— I'll— I'll—

Enis: Hey, don't use such foul language in front of the child.

Enis: ...Azel, can you tell us what happened?

Azel: Everyone expects all sorts of things from me.

Azel: I want to meet those expectations, but there's so much I don't know.

Azel: Even though I don't know, I have to give them answers.

Azel: I can only give them vague answers, so I'm afraid that someday I'll give a false divine message...

Azel: A real god wouldn't have this problem.

Kamal: Sigh... You're more of an angel than a god, Azel, an angel.

Azel: Whoa, oniichan!

Enis: Kamal, it's dangerous to suddenly pick him up like that.

Kamal: You're being a nag, are you his babysitter or something?

Kamal: Azel, the people around you call you a god, but to Enis and me, you're just our cute little brother.

Kamal: To our troubled little brother, your big brother will give you this as a present.

Azel: Um... "Read This and You Too Can Become a Splendid Swindler ~Beginner Edition~"?

Enis: What kind of book did you give him?!

Kamal: Our angel is too kind, that's why he worries like this.

Kamal: Listen, most of the people who worship you as a god are greedy and only think about themselves.

Kamal: Become a swindler so they can't take advantage of you.

Azel: A swindler?

Kamal: A swindler is a bad person who deceives others and acts only for their own benefit.

Kamal: You're a kind god who only thinks about others, but a swindler doesn't care whether their divinations are right or wrong.

Kamal: Become like that. Enis and I want to protect you... Don't become a god who gets eaten by people.

Azel: Doing bad things... is wrong, but...

Azel: But I understand what you're trying to say, oniichan.

Azel: I'll read this book and study hard.

Kamal: Ah, you're a good boy.

Azel: Thank you, oniichan. I love you.

Kamal: Guh...

Enis: Hey, don't die?! Fainting from a nosebleed is a joke, right?!

Soldier: —There he is! It's the Living God! Secure him immediately!

Azel: I'm sorry! I was the one who said I wanted to play outside with my brothers!

Azel: I really didn't want to do any divinations today... I was tired...

Azel: So—...

Soldier: We've apprehended Prince Enis and Prince Kamal as well! Take them straight to prison!

Soldier: Those guilty of taking the god away will face appropriate judgment!

Enis: Aagh—!

Kamal: —Ugh...

Azel: Apostle... Please stop...

Azel: Please. I'll do whatever you say.

Azel: It's because I was a bad boy, because I didn't behave...

Azel: I'll never run away again, so please stop.

Azel: Please, please, please, please...

The Apostle: Living God... I'm sorry. It's not that I want to torment you.

The Apostle: This is also love.

The Apostle: To ensure that your noble self makes no mistakes, we must punish you severely like this.

The Apostle: All of this is for your sake. Please understand.

*flashback over*

At that time, I understood all too well.

The meaning of a god loving people, the meaning of people loving a god.

Both being loved and loving are nothing but painful acts.

I can't find any other words to describe this than a curse.

(The discomfort of being loved is still tolerable.)

(But I want to be spared from the curse that arises from my own love.)

Loving is the easiest way to make someone else unhappy.

(That's why... Emma, I don't love you.)

(I don't love you.)

Emma: —...Prince Azel?

I open my eyes, and a familiar scene comes into view.

The afterimage of the past vanishes, and the eyes of everyone seated at the table converge on me.

Azel: ...Is everyone here?

Kamal: Emma is here too today, huh?

Basil: May I address her as Lady Emma from now on? After all, she is the only one who has been loved by Prince Azel—

Basil: Ouch!

I throw a nearby game piece at his forehead, putting a stop to the unpleasant conversation for now.

Basil: Ah... even a scolding from Prince Azel is an honor...

Kamal: Sinan, please examine this child's head.

Sinan: Normal.

Kumush: That means there's no saving him, hahaha!

Temel: A little madness in young people helps them get ahead in life.

Kamal: Is that so?

Enis: I'm surprised though. This is my first time here, but...

Enis: I never thought most of Tanzanite's prominent figures were accomplices to a god.

(Thirteen people including Enis... no, fourteen if you include Emma.)

Present here, in addition to the royal family, are the head of the tourism association, the wealthy merchant who manages the market, the doctor with the best medical skills in the country, the owner of the famous restaurant that supports Tanzanite's economy, the competent spy who has deceived countless people, the world-renowned genius scholar, the strongest warrior...

I also gathered other promising individuals who will shape the future and gave them proof of my hope for the coming dawn.

(The god-killing plan I started alone has come this far, huh?)

(...It's been a long time.)

It all started that day when Kamal, who had been subjected to whipping, was exiled, and the light vanished from Enis's eyes—

Unable to bear the ugliness of the love the apostle spoke of, I vowed to destroy faith.

But sane words don't reach fanatics who think they can do anything for the god they love.

To escape the curse of love, there was no choice but to choose death, to kill even the idol god.

Kumush: King Enis, we weren't in important positions from the beginning.

Kumush: It was Prince Azel who guided us to them.

Temel: The development of the tourism association and the market also has Prince Azel's advice behind it.

Temel: I have nothing but respect for his foresight.

Azel: Don't mention it. I merely provided the opportunity for you to shine...

Azel: I just discovered your inherent talents and "bought" them.

Kamal: Azel, you don't realize how amazing that is.

Enis: You're still better suited to be king than I am. How about it, after being a god, why not try wearing a crown?

Azel: No, thank you. I want to enjoy my retirement.

Azel: I'll meet with you periodically and give you advice for a fee, but I won't do anything more than that.

My rejection is met with laughter in the hall.

Since when did I start to see emotions other than revenge in that scene?

*flashback*

Azel: From the next dawn, you will build the future with your own hands.

Azel: I look forward to seeing what kind of future the "human nation," free from the hands of God, will build.

*flashback over*

(Those were my true feelings.)

(...Even though I'm a god who doesn't love people.)

Izzet: Prince Azel... May I speak?

Azel: What is it, Izzet?

Izzet: Um... Shall I bring you a chair?

Kamal: Ah, hey!

Enis: Izzet... even though everyone was pretending not to notice...

(...)

(...Well, I guess it had to be said.)

There are thirteen chairs in this room—but there are fifteen people here, including myself.

Enis has taken a new seat, and his attendant, Izzet, stands beside him. The other newcomer, Emma, is sitting on my lap.

Emma: ...Prince Azel... As I thought...

Azel: Don't worry about it. I'm just doing this because I don't want to bother with bringing a chair.

Kumush: If that's the case, I'll stand!

Basil: No, I'll stand!

Temel: I'll—

Azel: That's quite alright. You are all important figures in this country, so please sit in the chairs.

(Smirking, smirking... It's not like I enjoy having her on my lap either.)

(It was just efficient. That's all.)

Emma: It would be easier if I just stood...

Azel: Ah, yes. The reason I gathered everyone here today is because there's something I wanted to tell you all.

I firmly embrace Emma's waist as she actually tries to stand, forcibly pulling her back onto my lap.

(...It's not like I want her sitting here, but there's no need to run away, is there?)

Azel: She will be involved in the establishment of the Tanzanite Book Merchants Association in the future, taking over from Akatsuki.

Azel: Emma is also a talented merchant, so I thought I'd try my hand at nurturing her.

Azel: I think there will be more opportunities for all of you to interact with her, so please make sure to remember her face.

Azel: Ah, but try not to stare. She's shy.

Emma: ...It's just that this situation is unbearable...

Emma's voice, as she covers her face with both hands, is so faint it's almost inaudible.

(How cute—)

(...No, that's wrong. Stop it. I feel like I'm becoming an idiot too.)

Kamal: ...Enis, you have many wives, don't you?

Kamal: Why don't you teach Azel how to conduct a romantic relationship?

Kamal: He was a god, you know, so he doesn't know how to treat girls.

Enis: Well... I suppose it's fine. He'll learn eventually after making some mistakes.

(How rude. What do they mean by "mistakes"?)

That's what I think inwardly, but everyone's gaze is lukewarm.

(...)

(...So this is what it means to be an ordinary person, huh?)

After seeing off the gathered people, the usual time descends upon the solitary desert castle.

After dinner, when it's time to sleep, I always hold Emma in my arms on the bed.

This, too, is a force majeure that started because I was tired of putting Emma back in the middle of the bed whenever she tried to sneak off to the edge. It's certainly not because I want to hold her or feel her warmth.

(Could this also be a "mistake"?)

(...It's not like I'm bothered by what they said earlier, but...)

Azel: What was the right thing to do?

Emma: Huh...?

Azel: ...Enis said it, didn't he? That it was a mistake.

Azel: What was the right thing to do in that situation?

Emma: Well... generally, you wouldn't have someone sit on your lap in public.

Azel: I told you many times, it was for efficiency.

Emma: ...Was it really just for efficiency?

Azel: There's no other reason.

Emma: Then say it while looking at me.

She cups my cheeks in her hands, forcing our eyes to meet.

I was about to complain, but the smile that bloomed before my eyes made me speechless.

Emma: Thank you.

Azel: ...What are you thanking me for?

Emma: For always loving me in a way that's easy to understand.

Azel: ...But I don't love you?

Even as I that, before I know it, I'm kissing her.

I know intellectually that this act is meant to convey love, but I can't stop myself.

Always, always—every time our eyes meet, I want to kiss her.

Even I find it baffling.

Emma: Nn... That's the least convincing "I don't love you" I've ever heard.

Azel: ...Shut up.

I seal her lips out of spite, stealing away her ability to laugh.

(No matter what you say, I don't want to admit it.)

(Even if the love I know is different from the "real love" you speak of—...)

When I look into her face, she wraps her arms around the back of my neck, looking unsatisfied.

As I entwine our tongues and caress her slender back, a muffled, frustrated voice escapes her lips.

(I don't love you...)

I press my finger against her nipple through her negligee and rub my knee between her damp thighs.

Even though I know intellectually that this is also something lovers do, my body won't stop.

(...No, this is just human physiological desire. It can't be helped, it's force majeure.)

Emma: Prince Azel...

(It's definitely not because Emma seemed to want it or anything like that...)

(It's because it's my creed to live greedily, so I have no choice...)

Emma: ...Nn... I was thinking during the meeting today...

Emma: Prince Azel... even though you say you don't love me, you're surely... more affectionate than anyone else.

Azel: Huh?

I involuntarily stop my hand and peer into her sweet face.

Azel: What did I do for you to interpret it that way?

Emma: When you were talking to everyone... you had a gentle expression.

Emma: I was secretly watching from your lap, thinking, "This must be Prince Azel's true nature"...

(...This isn't funny.)

(A god who doesn't love people is affectionate...)

Emma: Ah... Hyaa...!

I lift up her negligee and thrust my fingers in, all at once.

I delve deep inside, so that her mouth can't utter any more nonsense.

Azel: You're mistaken.

Emma: Ah, nn... That's... unfair!

Azel: I don't care.

(I just like to see people carve out their own path with their own strength.)

(I just like the moments when people laugh together and create a lively atmosphere...)

(...To call this affectionate...)

(...)

(...Will she say it?)

(No, she won't. Please don't say it.)

Emma: Loving someone isn't scary.

As if she could see right through my heart, Emma embraces me.

Emma: When I can prove that to you...

Emma: Please be more honest and love many things.

Unconsciously, my breath begins to tremble.

I kiss her hair, praying she doesn't notice my trembling.

Emma: Ah, but... I want to be Prince Azel's number one.

Emma: I want to be loved more than anyone else...

Emma also presses her lips against mine, her face bashful before my eyes.

It was a carefree bashfulness that seemed to defy the logic that love is a curse.

Azel: ...

Emma: ...

Azel: .................

Emma: ...Um...

Emma: ...Say something, please. This is awkward.

Azel: It's your own fault, isn't it?

(Love is a curse. That's why I will never love anyone.)

(...But, if by any chance, what you say is true, and real love doesn't make anyone unhappy...)

(I might not refuse to admit that I love you...)

Emma: Prince Azel—...

Azel: ...If you're going to say things like "number one," could you please stop doing that for starters?

Emma: Stop what?

Azel: Calling me "Prince"

Azel: I'm an ordinary person now, so isn't "Prince" strange?

Emma: Why so suddenly...?

Azel: There's no deep meaning.

(The first people I loved were my brothers.)

(Those brothers don't call me "Prince")

(If you're so insistent that love isn't a curse, you should start by changing how you address me.)

(Because it makes me feel clearly loved.)

Emma: Then, how about Azel-san?

(...If possible, I'd prefer just my name...)

(No, no one else calls me that, so maybe it's better this way.)

Azel: Well, that's fine.

Azel: Emma.

Emma: W-what is it?

As usual, I pin Emma down and kiss her, never tiring of it.

Precisely because I understand that this emotion, which I can't control despite knowing logically what it is, is "real love"—

I won't admit it yet.

Azel: I don't love you, so don't misunderstand.

Emma: Hehe... You're quite stubborn. Just the way I like it.

(I won't admit it... but the hateful curse you've placed on me is too strong.)

(...What are you going to do about it, damn it?)

FIN

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#ikepri jp #ikemen prince #ikemen prince translations #azel radwan main route #azel radwan main story #azel radwan translations #azel radwan both endings epilogue

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bbybhr · 1 day ago

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Watching the stars with old man logan

A little drabble that Seriously is the fluffiest fluff that ever fuffed in my mind so enjoy

He will grunt and frown at the suggestion,saying he's too tired to engage in this kind of movie romance shit, but he will come with you. he never misses a chance to see the same old things through your heart shaped glasses. the same things he saw thousands of times, for decades and decades. things that he doesn't find amusing anymore, but with you anything feels new, so the hell with his aching bones.

You will pick the blankets, the fluffiest ones of course, same with the little pillows and you pick your favourite snacks also (his favourite snack is tasting your favourite of your tongue anyway) He'll carry everything you picked and prepared to the rooftop. laying one blanket on the ground so you can sit and be his muse.

After he finally sitted and placed the pillow in a comfortable way he gestures to you, already sitting and looking up at stars with awe.

"Come'ere princesses"

You lay on your back, his arms beneath your head like a pillow and his hand drawing shapes on your arm, you'll take a deep breath welcoming the cold air of the night in your lungs , your eyes flickering in admiration of the clear night... his eyes however didn't look up not for a second just looking down at you in his arms with lots of thoughts wondering around his mind, and he didn't miss how the voices and the uncomfortable fog of nightmare disappeared as soon as he had you this close.

He held you in his arms safe and secure, with your bright starry eyes. and he felt calm, the star sure weren't anything near new but this sensation definitely was. there was no worry, no war, even no pain anymore when he held you like this.

"Beautiful"

He murmured at you, so drown at every little detail in your face. every reflection of stars in the sky that he saw in your eyes enlighten somewhere in his heart that darkened over his long life. and how you smiled slightly didn't hide from his lingering eyes, making his own smile appear.

"I know isn't it? And you wanted to stay at home"

You voiced without looking at him.

"I am home"

He replied matter-of-factly pulling you a little closer to himself and laying the blanket on you afterwards. Everything was quiet, only the sound of your breath could've been heard. Although for logan and his hightene sense it was more...a harmony of your heartbeat and breathing. Until you broke the silence with an excited voice.

"Oh my god...make a wish make a wish"

You suddenly stated as you closed your eyes quickly, going through a lot of little things that you wanted to do, and a lot of them consists you and logan.

"Why?"

He asked confused, looking around for a second to make sure there isn't anything that you would mistake for a magic elf or something.

"didn't you saw the shooting star?"

You questioned while your eyes still closed trying not to miss anything in your list.

"What about it?"

He looked at you again, so kissable he thought.

"If you wish upon it it'll come true...now let me make my wish"

You dismissed him.

only thing he wanted most right now was for you to show those starfull gaze again... and you eventually did.

"What did ya wish for kid?"

"I can't say they won't come true that way"

His eyebrows raised.

"They, huh?a lot of labor for that poor passer"

You turned and looked up to him.

"So you just made one?"

He smiled slightly and grabbed your chin, tilting your head more towards himself, thumb coming up and caressing your bottom lip.

"No...I didn't need any darlin"

He kissed you softly afterwards, not rushed or breath taking...a kiss that has the spark of a wish come true...

#logan wolverine #logan howlett #james howlett #logan #logan james howlett #logan howlet x reader #logan x reader #old man logan #wolverine x reader #somebody sedate me #fluff #x-men

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lolitastories · 12 hours ago

Text

Ocean blue

Rafe Cameron

As I stood one step behind Rafe and our daughter, I felt like their bodyguard. He always wanted to have her in his arms. He didn’t feel the need to use her stroller, so it always stayed in the trunk. He would look back every so often to make sure I was close by but most importantly, he made sure to catch every moment, expression, or action from our daughter. “Don’t get her too close to the glass” I warned. But just as I said it he squatted down with her close enough to touch the glass. He grins back at me before turning to see our daughter so fazed with the creature in front of her. I step back taking a seat on the wooden bench and just watch those two.

“Can you imagine them living amongst dinosaurs?” My head snaps to my right as a man takes the seat beside me. “Of course they developed over the years but it's incredible to think of how far back they go.”

“And now you have them here” I plainly point towards the glass. “Living behind a glass where people pay to come and see them.” The guy laughs shaking his head.

“If you think they deserve better, why come see them?”

“Call me a hypocrite,” I smile. “I like to think these places are made up of animals we have helped. Maybe that small turtle was saved and would never be able survive out there in the wild.”

“A nice way to see things,” He lets out a sigh. “But still pessimistic?”

“Oh yes” I laugh. “It’s second nature to me. People can be so deceiving that it's easier to never truly put your trust on someone.”

“Talking from experience?” I turn my head to look at him. My smile turned into a bit of a frown. His mood shifted really quickly, noticing my change. “You seem like a person who believes in second chances?”

“I believe things can be made right, but I also believe a person should know their value. Trust should be sacred. If you decide to trust someone it could either make you noble or a fool for falling for the same trick twice.”

“And you don’t want to make that mistake twice because you’re scared of the pain?” I shake my head letting out a quick laugh. “In my books it doesn’t make you a fool to trust again, it simply means you are a human with a big heart.”

“Guess we just differ in opinions.” He smiles nodding along.

“We should meet up to see if that is true, maybe in a couple of years it will be the same?” I look over feeling my smile die down. I take a deep breath ready to respond when someone cuts me off.

“I think not.” Our heads turn to see Rafe standing there. “Our daughter wants to visit the shop.” His eyes rolled over to mine. Dead expression on his face.

“I don’t mean to cause any trouble-”

“Then walk away.” I gasp at Rafe's response. I was about to grab his hand and pull him away when he turned towards me and handed over our daughter. As I adjusted her in my arms I am faced with his back.

“I-” I see the man stretch to the side with pleading eyes to look at me but of course Rafe blocks him. He moves forward with each hand grabbing a fist full of the man's collar.

“Look dude. I am trying to have a nice day with my family and you are ruining it. You are some creepy guy who comes to places like these alone to what? Pry on women hoping they give you some attention?”

“Rafe stop.” I demanded placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Look man I just saw her sitting there and she looked a bit down,” What? I looked down? People said I have a resting bitch face but I didn’t know it made me look depressed, what the fuck.

“Your mistake.” Rafe continues. “Now that I am here you can move along and bother someone else, this one is mine.” He lets him go with a little shove. I stay quiet knowing and hoping it won’t escalate. The man fixes his shirt and with a last glance towards me he walks away.

“Seriously?” I say watching Rafe walk to where I was standing. “You didn’t have to do all of that.” He doesn’t respond. He simply takes a hold of my hand and begins to drag me somewhere. “Rafe,” I say a little louder trying to get his attention. He swiftly dragged us between the crowd until we stopped in front of the family bathroom.

“In.” He opened the door and motioned for me to get in but I just stood there. I raised one brow thinking how crazy he was acting and childish. “Can you please get in?” I rolled my eyes and got in. I shake away the small grin knowing it wasn’t the time to acknowledge his cute plea. I wait for him to close the door and lock it. “I heard you two talking.”

“Rafe you know I wouldn’t-”

“I wasn’t talking about him.” He stays put in the doorway. I search his eyes for any clue, until it hits me. “Are you ever going to trust me?” His voice was almost a whisper. “You don’t say it but I know the reason for you breaking up with me and putting me on trial to be in our daughter's life was because of my past.” I was left speechless. My cheeks were burning and my bones were aching to just touch him. I saw how pain flashed in his eyes but I couldn’t find the words. “You would have hated who I was back then and who’s to say I won’t go back to being that person again. My father was a bad man but I loved him.” His last word made his voice crack. “I don’t want her to live through that and hate me,” His head falls down but I notice a small tear rolling down his cheek. “I don’t want to live knowing you always have a foot out the door.” That's when he broke down into a cry.

“Rafe,” I swallowed the pain in my throat and walked over to him. I grabbed his hand and led him to the single couch in the room. “Look at me Rafe.” I kneel in front of him. I lifted his chin a bit to search for his eyes. Once I saw his eyes focus on me I moved our daughter to his lap. “I can’t tell you that it didn’t play a part in my decision because it did.” His chest was breathing heavily. “But it didn’t make me stop trusting you, ever.” Both of my hands were holding his cheeks making sure he didn’t look away. I move my thumbs to clear up the remainder of his tears. “Baby I fell in love with the man you became after so much pain. You did that on your own before we met and after seeing you become a father, I know you won’t ever do anything to make her and I hate you.”

“But you don’t even look at me the same.” I grinned hearing his childlike whine. I move closer between his legs.

“I don’t look at you the same because you keep changing on me for the better.” I begin to smile bigger. “I fell in love with a 20 year old boy who was building a life for himself. Then again as a 24 year old man who became the father to our little girl. Now I have a chance to see what kind of person you will become as we grow older together but trust me, the only change you see in my eyes is how my love just keeps getting bigger and bigger for you.” I lift my head giving him a quick kiss. “Those blue eyes have become my favorite blues to see.”

“Not the ocean?” He says quietly.

“No, ocean blue doesn’t even come close.” He nods softly before fixing his down posture. “Are you okay?” He flickered his eyes down towards me as he nodded. But when I tried to get up with one hand he kept me from standing up. He leans forward and as I try to pull away but his free hand moves from my shoulder to the back of my head.

“You need to be more careful when talking to strangers,” What am I, 10?. “I held back because our daughter was nearby, but don’t go making friends with strangers, especially men.” I roll my eyes as I let out a chuckle. “You two are mine to protect.” I move forward resting my forehead against his.

“She is ours to protect,” I say challengingly. His piercing eyes don’t change showing how he was not amused with my answer. “I won’t do it again.” I groaned, pulling away from him. “Can I get up now? My knees are killing me”

“I don’t know why. You have always been good on your knees.” I scoff pushing him away.

“You're an idiot.” I hear him laugh as I pick myself up. “Now let's go because there is an otter plushie that has my name on it.” I hear the couch creek as he stands and walks over to the door. I turn around to face Rafe, one hand on the handle behind my back as he stares down at me. “I love you so much.” I whisper quietly and slowly. His eyes move to my right and then the left a couple of times. “Don’t forget it.” I simply state. I turn and push the door open but his hand grips mine and pulls it close. His face right beside me ear,

“Woman if I didn’t have my daughter in my arms right now I would fuck you against this very door. Don’t go saying things like that when I can’t do anything about it.” He takes a step back allowing me to focus back on opening the door. I tried to swallow but my mouth was left dry. Of course Rafe was enjoying it. He wrapped his free arm around my neck and led us to the shop with a grin on his face.

“Fuck the store” I stop in my tracks. Shivers were literally circulating around my body.

“What?” Is he stupid?

“We can come tomorrow to get her a stuffed animal. Let's go home. She needs to nap.” I didn’t care how desperate I looked or sounded. I needed Rafe. These people should be grateful I have enough self restraint to hold myself back but it wouldn’t be for long.

“What about the otter-?”

“Fuck the otter Rafe.” I looked around a little embarrassed as I spoke a little too loudly. I walked closer making sure no one was going to hear me. “I am giving you a chance to go home and fuck me Rafe.” His eyes widened. “You can fuck me until you put another baby in me. I need you,” I look up with pleading eyes hoping to get him on the same page.

“Yes ma’am.” And with Rafe, it didn’t take much.

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molter-writes · 14 hours ago

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pleeeasssee miller i know you let the work stand on it's own but please tell us jsut a tad bit more about the valyerian sex magic!!!!

i meannnn

on valyrian sex magic

i am not the person to ask for the true asoiaf lore, of course; but there is obviously a pervasive source of magic across Planetos — accessible by many cultures in many different forms — and the "flavour" of the magic of each is very much a reflection, i think, of what GRRM wants us to glean about each. the Starks are themselves effectively the oldest singular consistent human organisation, if you will, that we actually meet in the books, and their magic is extremely rudimentary and primordial—they turn into animals and talk to trees. It's giving primordial man, it's giving Lucy—humanity as a symbiotic participant in (rather than an editor of) the natural world.

fast forward almost five thousand years: the valyrians are not tree hugging hunter-gatherers. they are the roman empire if the roman empire were composed of evil wizards. Their magic is dark, rooted in blood and fire—it was a tool of mind control, of asymmetric warfare, of wroth destruction. It required blood sacrifice and whips and horns and knives. It mated slave women to animals to produce grotesque chimeras. The entire thing is about the subjugation, not the embrace, of nature. Obviously until we have WoW or (lol) aDoS, we won't know—and maybe not even then—but the best prevailing theory in my view is that blood of the dragon is literal. Planetos has wyverns and, more importantly, firewyrms (flightless, firebreathing lizards) that the Valyrians almost certainly combined with human beings in some ritualistic hellcurse to produce the first dragons. this explains (1) the psychogenic bond between rider and dragon; (2) why nobody without valyrian blood can ride one; (3) the decline of the dragons correlating near-perfectly with the Andalisation (read: de-magifying) of the Targaryens; and perhaps most importantly, (4) why an animal that can fly hundreds of miles in a day would for some reason be found only on a single small isle in some random corner of a massive content that has volcanos and mountains and hot weather elsewhere. only one culture having dragons is like only one airport having planes.

much like the american NRA often asserts about guns, dragons are something of a sexual equaliser. part of why rhaenyra is so much freer than alicent when they're young is not merely because of her elevated social station (which is a principal part of it, yes) but also because she is in sole possession of one of the only six nukes in the world. At fifteen Rhaenyra possesses the power to go burn Riverrun to its foundation. I mean, if you thought Daenerys had firepower—regardless of D&D's absolute boneheaded visual mistakes in the show—Syrax is bigger than Drogon.

in any case i digress; i bring this up to make the point that while we do know valyria was a patriarchy of sorts, you can imagine a world in which a valyrian noble house would be headed (on occasion) by a woman because she is the most powerful imperial military leader because she is in command of the largest dragon. as a result, you can imagine a culture that embraces less patriarchal sexual and gender politics than do the Andals, and when take this inference a step further with the chimeras and the dragon-making and all the other frankensteinian blood magic, i just don't think it's that much of a leap to imagine that some dragon-wielding all-powerful female ruthless blood wizard in ancient Valyria decided—based on blood purity or necessity or ego or whatever—to impregnate some other woman. some maesters recorded that dragons appeared to change their sex—becoming able and unable to lay and fertilise eggs. Anyway, I just don't put genderbending and fempreg past the people who—if the theory is right—invented fucking dragons. It seems easier to do magic pregnancy than to do dragons. idk. melisandre gave birth to a shadow. nearly every ancient tradition on the planet can explore the miracle of virgin conception but we can't have lesbo baby?? why?? thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

#asoiaf #hotd #rhaenicent

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penumbra-mayhem · 3 days ago

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How to Trap an Alpha

— Asher & David & Angel Fic

This takes place about a month after the Inversion. It def goes against canon; I'm making everyone's response to the Inversion far worse (especially David, in this he didn't talk about the Inversion with Angel after it happened. Also I hc Angel as a transwoman, so expect she/her thx.)

Hope yall enjoy <3

TW: gore, panic attack, verbal fighting, grief, PTSD, flashbacks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Asher’s third mistake this week—and his biggest. It had cost David one of the few security gigs he'd managed to book since the Inversion, and David could only chalk it up to pure negligence. He called Asher into his home office; the sight of him sparked panic in David, but he swallowed it and growled:

“This is unacceptable, Asher.”

“I know,” Asher replied, wincing at the aggression in David’s voice, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry’s not going to cut it. You know how badly we needed this gig.”

“I forgot—”

“—you forgot,” David scoffed, “You need to do better, Asher. I'm relying on you. The pack is relying on you. If they don’t get work, they can’t pay their rent or groceries or medical bills—”

“—I’m trying, okay?”

“Well you’re clearly not trying hard enough.”

“Yes, I am. Your standards are just ridiculously high.”

“You’re the pack beta. My standards have to be high.”

“Well can you lower them a bit?”

“I’m not going to coddle you, Asher."

"I'm not asking you to coddle me, but I tried talking to you last week—"

"—and I told you to deal with it. I trusted that you would."

"You wouldn't listen to me! Ever since the Inversion you've been practically unreachable. I've been trying to tell y—"

"—I don't have the time, Asher. I have responsibilities. I have people to take care of. I'm the alpha of this pack!"

“You’re not just the fucking alpha!” Asher barked.

David glared at him, “What?”

“Could you stop being my alpha for one goddamn moment and just be my friend,” Asher pleaded, "I know you're not doing well. How could you? How could any of us? I’ve tried checking up on you so many times the past couple weeks. You just keep ignoring me. And not once—” he gasped, his chest tightening, “—not once have you checked on me.”

Images flashes in David's mind at the sound of Asher struggling to breathe: Asher's mauled chest—the layers and layers of exposed skin and bubbly fat, heaving and stretching as he fought for air. Crimson sludge pulsing out of him with each beat of his racing heart.

Asher’s gasped in between words, “I know you want to b-be strong for everyone, but sometimes your strength just c-comes off as indifference. I-I miss my friend! I need my friend. Not my alpha. Fuck, I didn’t know l-losing Gabe would mean losing you too.”

Gabe. It always came back down to Gabe. David balled his fists tight. He’d never escape his father’s death. Never step out from his shadow. He tried so hard to be like his father, and yet everything he did seemed to be the antithesis to what Gabe would do. He wasn’t his father. He never would be. Everyone knew that. Everyone doubted him. And now the one person who’d always had his back was losing faith too.

David stared as Asher backed up against the wall of his office, shaking and hyperventilating. Gabe wouldn’t have let him get to this point. Especially after what he just went through. He would’ve checked on him. He would’ve cared.

Asher's face rapidly losing saturation, so contorted with pain that he looked monstrous. No sense of recognition when he looked up at David. Just pain and fear. It was a look David had never seen on Asher before.

Asher spluttered, “I-I don’t think I can d-do this…fuck, I f-feel like I’m going to p-pass out.”

Gabe knew how to respond to tragedy. He knew how to compartmentalize. He knew how to be a leader and a friend and a father. Gabe knew what to do, always. David didn’t. David didn't know anything. He tried to think of how Gabe would've helped Asher and came up empty. Every day it was like the memory of his father faded a bit more. How could he emulate someone he was slowly forgetting?

And if Asher died, would the same thing happen? Would David lose bits of him? His voice? His laugh? His smile?

Asher was a whimpering, gasping ball on the floor of David's office. He clawed at his own chest, mentally trapped somewhere between the past and the present. David felt the same.

Trying desperately to heal Asher. Asher's core clawing at David's, like someone drowning seeking anything to hold. David's core grasping at Asher's as it slipped away like smoke.

I should leave, David thought, panic squeezing his throat, I should call his mate and let them handle it. They're better at this. Asher's better at this. Ash would know what to do. Dad would know what to do. I don't. I can't. I'm frozen. I jus—

Knock knock knock.

"Hey, David, is everything..." Angel asked quietly as she cracked open the door. Her face fell as she saw the look in David’s eyes, and then Asher on the floor to her right.

"What the fuck? David? David?" Angel sputtered, rushing in. Getting no response from her mate, she crouched down in front of Asher, "Ash, sweetie, what's going on? Are you hurt?"

"C-can't breathe. C-can't..." Asher managed.

Angel whipped her head to look up at David, "What the hell happened?"

"I...I..." David muttered before looking away.

She turned her attention back at Asher, murmuring, "Ash, you think you make it to the living room?"

Asher gave a slight nod. He swayed as Angel helped him up; the feeling brought on a whole new wave of panic, causing him to whimper and grip Angel hard.

"It's okay. It's okay, I've got you. Just a little trip down the hallway, and I'll get you some water, maybe some ice, and we'll get that breathing slow again. It's okay, you're safe, I've got you..." Angel cooed, her voice fading as the two made their way to the living room.

Leaving Ash lying in the Underground. Wondering if he'd ever see him again. The ice-cold fear that it hadn't been enough. That the healing hadn't been enough to save him. That he'd die down there, alone. That he'd abandoned his best friend.

David's head spun. The panic he felt whenever he was with Asher was the same panic he felt whenever Asher left. He couldn't escape. David leaned against his desk as images flooded his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About twenty minutes later, Angel appeared in the doorway. David's eyes shot up, red and glassy.

"I managed to calm him down a bit. His mate came and picked him up. They're on their way home now, I expect," Angel said, her voice tight.

"Good," David croaked.

Silence fell for a moment.

"What happened?" Angel asked.

David grumbled dismissively, “He lost us the Devlin gig."

"I already knew that. That's not what I'm talking about."

"It was just a panic attack. He's fine," David hissed.

Angel gaped, "What? What the fuck is wrong with you?""

"Oh fuck off." David growled.

Washing Asher's blood off himself in his bathroom sink. Angel offering to help. Telling her to go away.

"No!" Angel shouted, advancing towards him, "No, you do not get to tell me to fuck off. Not after I just helped your best friend off the fucking floor while you stood there and did nothing."

Gabe would have done something. Gabe would be so disappointed.

Angel lowered her volume, but kept the bite in her voice, "Look, I understand you're struggling, David. I don't need you to tell me that for me to see it. But that doesn't mean you get to be cruel. No more shutting me out. Now talk. What happened?"

He didn't answer. He couldn't. He felt his body instinctively fight the urge to keep from crying. Gabe used to let himself cry in front of people. Why couldn't David?

Angel ran a hand over her face, muttering, "Alright. Fine. I'm leaving."

Pack members sprinting. Splitting up. Leaving his line of sight. Leaving him.

She turned to walk out, and David heard the words before he even realized he was saying them, "I can't stop seeing him. How he was. Asher. On the ground, bleeding out. Every time I look at him, that's all I see."

Angel stopped, but didn't turn back around.

The words came rushing out like a flood. Like blood from an open chest. "I can't escape. Everywhere I look, there's something or someone that reminds me of that night. Something that sends my mind back there and then I have to claw my way back to the present, every time."

Angel faced him, biting her lip and furrowing her brow. David could feel tears burning his eyes, but he couldn't let them fall.

"I don't know how to handle this. All those fucking people, just...gone...I don't know how to be a leader after something like that. I'm doing everything wrong. I'm somehow pushing everyone away and yet not far enough, apparently, cause I'm still hurting people when I lash out. I'm hurting you. I'm hurting Ash. I'm hurting the pack. And-and..." David choked, "...and I just keep thinking how the only good thing about my dad being dead is he doesn't have to watch me as I destroy everything he built."

"No," Angel insisted, shaking her head as she walked back to him, "You're not destroying everything."

"I am, Angel," David cried out, his voice small. Tears clung to the edges of his eyes.

"No," she repeated, her hands resting on his hips, "you're not."

David let Angel pull him into her. He let her arms wrap around him. Let her shoulder hold his head as he began to cry. Finally. For the first time since that night.

His tears falling on Asher's face. The Shades and the screams so loud he could barely hear his own sobbing.

"Here's what we're going to do," Angel whispered, "We're going sit on our bed. I'm going to get you some water. We're going to talk. Afterwards, we're going to get some food. Maybe go for a drive, talk some more. And when he's ready, you're going to talk to Ash. Okay?"

It was a page right out of Gabe's book, and it took David aback for a moment. He almost kept the thought to himself. Almost.

"My dad would've said that," David mumbled into Angel's shoulder, “What you said, just now.”

“Yeah?”

David nodded.

"Is that good or bad?"

"Good. Makes me feel...steady," David assured her.

Angel pressed a small kiss to his temple and murmured, "I'm glad. Now come on, let's go talk."

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omagpies · 18 hours ago

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No way! Another person who has spent way too much time on apex! Who's your main? I'm guessing BH but I don't want to assume. How did you feel about the BH/Fuse engagement? Do you have any heirlooms? Sorry, not very many people play apex on here.

Also, do you have any apex art? If not that's totally cool but I would love to see it!

you have activated my trap card!! many drawings ahead

my main is indeed bloodhound. i also whip out fuse, mirage, and to a lesser degree octane, but mostly i'm a one trick bloodhound. they were what got me into the game in the first place back in season 7 when i heard their 'i'm afraid of heights :(' voicelines (a cool hunter nonbinary character voiced by none other than allegra clark? sign me tf up), and even though i am Very Bad At Shooting and don't actually like battle royale-type games apex stayed my brainrot for over two years. the brainrot is definitely over now and these days i play it as a social thing, but that's how i acquired 2k+ hours lmao

also they released a magpiehound recolor called 'frosthaven' that i gleefully snatched up and have been wearing it ever since (ft the magpie holospray and the magpie mural on their latest map. i think they are catering to me specifically)

i am. truly Not Good. i am here just to clown and gossip and make poor life choices. my impulse control is too non existent for someone whose best skill is shooting a perfect outline around the enemy and not a bullet within

i had SO MUCH bloodhound art over on twitter good god. out of the following two drawings, the first one was bought out by allegra to sell as signed prints, and the second one was reposted onto apex's IG account, and in general this was the one time i genuinely had a blast on twitter interacting with all the devs and vas before everything went downhill both in respawn and on twitter lol. also i have to say, s10 and the whole White Raven thing fed me so. so so. SO well. the existential angst was incredible.

i participated in a couple of zines/projects as well! i have many thoughts about their canonical(!) respawn system and the resulting unimportance of death. adds to the existentialism and to bloodhound's religious themes

overall it was a very, very prolific period for me, and there are many pieces i'm still very happy with to this day

(^ the second to last one is a reference to the fusehound confession scene, and the last one is related to one of my fics, wooden bones (forest deity!bh au))

shipping!!! miragehound was my initial and most prominent ship, and i will never forgive respawn for not expanding on their backstory (their mothers worked together COME ON. they might have met as children! COME ON!!!!! i have a whole series exactly about the What Could Have Been)

their backstory with boone also fascinated me for a very long time, and my friends and i spent many a yap session dissing the dude until we stopped and thought, hey, what if he really was Just Some Guy who made mistakes, what if he wasn't evil, and that's what pulled me right back into the brainrot when i was already starting to slowly recover from it. boone now has a very elaborate backstory and lore and i hope to god respawn never puts him in the games the way we did because a) they don't GET him and b) i don't trust the fandom with him lmao. i'm super down to blabber about him though just say the word. he's everything to me, my big, sad, hairy man

we also invented in-game stuff for him. he had abilities and skins etc etc (the top row of skins is his titan pilot backstory + talos era + 'default' in-game skin)

this diptych still lives rent-free in my head, i think i really won with this one

where miragehound and boonehound flourished, mirageboonehound wasn't far behind! i wrote how it came to be and all. also Рorn. so much Рorn. seriously.

also this was the first time i redrew the twelfth night as my otp. the second one was mouthwashing

fusehound was an absolute delight to watch blossom, especially since we know it wasn't planned and just Kind Of Happened. i felt that lmao. characters be like that. i'm a bit sadge they shelved the whole talos plotline in favor of romance but at this point i gave up on expecting good lore from apex, especially after they fired herr frozenfroh. i didn't draw fusehound nearly as much, BUT i do have one fic that was basically a dream i had lol

honorable mention goes to revhound!! this is the ship that went really hard with artists and writers. deeply painful, deeply compelling, absolutely incredible. mindblowing angst and just as mindblowing рorn, together or separately. best shit. the one ship i didn't write for because compared to the fandom's behemoths i never felt like i'd be able to contribute anything meaningful lol, i just got to sit back and enjoy

bonus: as one of my friends eloquently put it, bh and their bhitches :)

i was going to put in more pictures but hit the 30 images limit!!! my twitter is now abandoned but if you scroll down just a little you can see all the stuff that didn't make it into this post.

apex and bloodhound also REALLY, REALLY got me writing. i came into the fandom already relatively warmed up after a 170k fire emblem fic, but i ended up writing 200k+ for miragehound, mirageboonehound, and fusehound combined. i was unstoppable. it was insane. i've linked some already but you can peep them all here. bloodhound's pov was especially fun to write for, purple prose my beloved

also you asked me about heirlooms! i'm a lucky motherfucker who managed to get one set of shards from the 500th box and another from just the random 0.4% chance. so i have bloodhound's and fuse's as they are my most played characters :)

#apex legends #bloodhound apex legends #miragehound #fusehound #boonehound #my art #caw caw

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a-fic-reviewer-757 · 22 hours ago

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the cost of being a good dad:

by: Mawiiish | word count : 96,533 | AO3 | chapters: 10/10 | rating : Teen And Up Audiences

Summary:

Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are all tired of watching Bruce struggle with the stress of trying to handle the newly formed Justice League. He needs an outlet, he needs to relax, he needs to get out of the house, he needs... he needs to start dating. And what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

“Excuse me, I don’t know who you think I am, but I think there’s been a mistake.”

“Bruce, right?” the guy says, albeit less confidently this time. He looks slightly concerned and if Bruce is not mistaken… a tad embarrassed. “Bruce Wayne? You look just like your pictures.”

“My pictures?” Something finally clicks in Bruce’s mind, and he takes a small step back and plasters a smile on his face as to not rouse suspicion. Stalker. “Ah, of course, I’m sorry but I’m late for an appointment.”

Tags :

superbat - Freeform l Online Dating l Catfishing l Blind Datebat boys wanting their dad to be happy l Flirting l Bickering l Bad Pick-Up Lines l the boys are menaces l Bruce Wayne is So Done l Bruce Wayne is tired l Clark Kent is being catfished l Misunderstandings l POV Multiple l Getting Together l Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence l Dialogue Heavy l there's a lot of bat family dynamics as wellI l Identity Porn l Identity Reveal l Angst with a Happy Ending l Hurt Bruce Wayne l emotional and physical Hurt Bruce Wayne l Jason Todd Feels l First Kiss l Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings

Review : 💜💜💜💜💜

Frankly, I have to say this is one of the funniest fics I've read in a while — what a way to start the year with a bang! Superbat is one of my favorite couples, but it's rare for me to find a fic where I truly enjoy how both characters are portrayed. This one nailed it. The story captures their nuances perfectly — Clark’s gentleness and kindness tempered by his immense alien strength, and Bruce’s struggles with self-image and paranoia. The balance between them felt authentic and compelling. The fic had its highs and it s even higher moments, and the ending didn’t feel forced at all, which is such a win in my books. The sequel is also fantastic, and I’m waiting with so much anticipation to see if the author writes more in this universe. I know I’d absolutely love it. With the recent surge in Superbat content, this is a fic I’d definitely recommend to any fan of the ship.

#the cost of being a good dad #ao3 #ao3 fic #ao3 superbat #superbat #online dating au #idiots in love #canon divergence #batkids

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alexa-fika · 22 hours ago

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The apprentice’s apprentice (Chp 1)

Lesson 1:Don’t Anger The Captain

Prologue

A/N Omg guys I have been wanting to start actually doing series for a bit and I decided to start with this one! I ‘m still deciding if I want to do more than one series at the same time since I ‘m still backed up on requests but I am really exited for this project!!!

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which stands for Reader in japanese for the enjoyment of both reader and oc character readers alike!

Most Grammar mistakes here are in purpose to better portray Dokucha/reader’s age and if they are not 🤫

Dividers by @/firefly-graphics

“Dokucha, don’t go far. We don’t know what’s on this island.”

“Oey Ayeigh!” Dokucha responded with a skip on their step as they hurried off, excited at the promise of new land to survey and explore

“There they go again; I swear it’s like talking to a wall!” Rayleigh grumbled as he made his way down the slipway

“Wahahaha! Don’t worry so much, Ray! They will be fine, let them be a kid.” Roger laughed, not far behind his first mate.

“You’re too soft on them, Roger, you leave them be, and next thing you know, they will be bickering over nonsense like those two!”

“H-Hey!” Buggy protested, a frown painting his face at the accusation

“Dahahah!”

“What are you laughing at, idiot? He means you, too!”

“What did you say?!”

“You two better not start squabbling!” Rayleigh snapped, rolling his eyes as the two were quick to look away from each other in a petty display

“But Rayleigh, you also cuddle them!” Buggy accused as he pointed at the man, letting out a yowl as his comment got him a fist on his head

“Serves you right!” Shanks snickers

“Regardless, what are you trying to do here, Roger? Even if Whitebeard was spotted around here, what makes you think he will come here? Are you just going to wait for someone you don’t know will come?” Gaban questioned, joining his crewmates

“He will come! I am sure of it!” The Captain proudly stated

“You don’t know that, Roger,” Rayleigh sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose at his Captain’s antics.

Meanwhile, Dokucha made themselves to the edge of islands some ways away from where the Oro Jackson had anchored. Within minutes, they let out a grin as they had found what they had hoped to find: plant life.

Despite their young age, Dokucha had begun to show interest in plants. Initially, it had begun as a simple attraction to the vivid colors and different shapes, just as many kids their age. However, upon learning from Crocus that plants could be used to treat people in different inflictions, they had found themselves trying to learn all they could about plants, always asking their uncles and brothers to read them books regarding the topic, although still unable to read thanks to this help they had become able to identify a small array of plants and were always on the lookout for plants they could show the crew, happy to show off these skills.

Happy with their find and current stash, they picked themselves up, ready to make their way back to their family. However, they stopped at the sight of something off the coast, which urged them to make haste back to the crew.

“Capi!” They called as they ran towards the man, stumbling in their hurry to reach them and deliver the news

“Ah!” They cried, extending their hands to protect themselves, closing their eyes tightly in preparation for the fall, only for another pair of arms to slide under their shoulders to hold them up; confused by the lack of movement, they slowly opened their eyes, catching sight of two dismembered hands holding onto them

“Dokucha! Be careful!” Buggy scolded as he willed his hands to return to his body, bringing with them the child

“Sorry”

“What were you in such a hurry for anyways?” Rayleigh cut in

“I saw maenes!”

“Manes?” He questioned

“No maines!” They corrected him

“Mains?” He tried

“No!” They cried. Rayleigh gave his crew a glance, silently asking for some help.

“What was it?” Buggy asked as the child turned to them

“Maines!”

“M-arines?” He questioned with a cry

“Yeah!”

“Oh!! Now, this is perfect timing! We have something to kill the time while we wait for Whitebeard!” Roger boomed, a childish gleam escaping him as he spoke.

“Now then!” He started grabbing Dokucha from Buggy’s arms.

“Think you can take us to where you saw them?” He called with a grin as he put his hat on the child

“Yes! Capi!” Dokucha called excited at the prospect of leading the crew to their objective. They saluted the man as he placed them down and scurried their way to the field, not bothering to look behind them as they did.

Skidding to a stop as they arrived on the coast, they spun around, ready to announce their arrival, only to notice the crew had lagged behind. Most likely still talking amongst themselves as they slowly followed behind them.

“Awe, they’re slow!” They complained, their frown turning around as they felt their presence behind them, spinning around once again

“Capi, I beat yo…..” they paused, eyes widening at the men before them their ship and it's goverment symbol right behind them.

“Huh? Why is there a kid here?” The marine questioned

“They’re probably from a nearby village; civilians are quite nosy these days,” a nearby marine said, sending a disapproving frown at the child.

“Now hurry along, brat. The grownups have work to do,” they drawled, watching as the kid slowly backed away from them, stumbling once again. With no one to catch them, they fell to the ground, losing the hat that previously dwarfed them. They scrambled to take hold of it until one of the marines took it instead.

“Wait. This symbol….it’s the Roger pirates Jolly Roger!” The marine called at who Dokucha could only guess to be a commander

“So this brat is one of them?!” He growled, unsheathing his sword

“Go easy on them; they’re just a kid!” one of the soldiers called, though their tone did not offer any reassurance; instead, it was filled with mockery that unsettled the child.

“It’s better to pluck the weed before it becomes an invasion!” He exclaimed, raising his sword and swinging it down on the child

‘Help!’

“W-What the hell?!” The marine cried, urging Dokucha to open their eyes in time to watch as screaming and wailing began escaping the ship as their mast came barreling down on them. Marines soon began to abandon the ship as a huge slash hit the side of the boat with a resounding boom, smoke, and fire following suit; they watched as the cut rapidly capsized the vessel as water poured in.

“I was looking for some fun, but it looks like you lads came looking for trouble; since you saw it reasonable to cut down one of my apprentices, I see it totally reasonable to cut down each of you, yes?” A voice seethed behind them. Had Dokucha not recognized the voice, they would have followed the marine’s actions as they, one by one, began to drop their weapons and attempted to run away, most of them not making it as far as an overwhelming force reached them, causing them to crumple down.

“Dokucha! Come on, we have to get out of the way!” Buggy cried as he scooped them up.

“Why? Capi is here!” They questioned, watching as they started making distance from said man, noticing how the rest of the crew had done the same

“Why is everyone over here?”

“Listen, Dokucha! You don’t want to be close to the Captain when he gets angry. You don’t anger the Captain and get away with it!”

Dokucha observed the battlefield, kicking their legs as they took the scene in. Buggy’s words turned out to be nothing short of true, as all of the crew let the Captain handle things as he mercilessly massacred the whole brigade, staining the field with red with each cut until there was nothing more to cut, and it was only then that he appeared somewhat satisfied as he sheathed his sword, shaking it dry from the blood trickling from it.

He leisurely approached one of the few surviving marines and lifted the man until he was on his knees, held up by the scruff of his shirt, his consciousness slipping away.

“You should have brought Sengoku or Garp with you! You guys are no fun,” he called mockingly. Dokucha watched as the Captain continued to taunt him with various words, turning her sight to Shanks. Now wearing the hat the marines had grabbed, he crouched on a fallen marine as he ate the marine’s food happily; at the feeling of being watched, he looked up, grinning at Dokucha.

“You okay, Dokucha?” He called

“Y-yeah!” They sputtered out, getting nervous as the teen furrowed his eyebrows at their words as he continued to watch them.

“Shans?”

“Hey, you did well back there! Good job in spotting the marines. I ‘ll be sure to give you a treat when we’re done, okay?” He promised as he waved the chocolate in his hands, watching as they beamed at the praise and nodded their head vigorously, stopping at the squeak their brother behind them let out.

“Buggie?”

“It-it’s the Whitebeard pirates!”

Please let me know what you guys think about this one!! Again I am so exited for this!! I ‘ve got a whole draft if the whole thing going and everything 😂

Taglist:

@Imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

@hannahbarberra162

@epochal-oracle

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